American Apparel – A Study in Life Without Organs

the_tap_pantyEver notice how the American Apparel store looks like a Unicorn stumbled in, drunk and shot a hot stream of uninterrupted Unicorn pee onto every visible surface?

This could be the reason why I can never resist popping in and rummaging through their technicolour racks – and may well also be the legitimate reason for absolutely no smiles, or even a hint of pleasure on the faces of its snake-hipped employees?

Or is it the fact that they just really fancy a big sandwich, since oxygen just isn’t enough to sustain them anymore?

This might not be fair, of course, since many many of the ‘trendy’ stores, in every city in the world comprise a team of poe-faced pre-pubescent but really, it just seems so more apparent here.

It has to be something to do with the contrast between the candy-coloured hoodies and the pale, hungry looking sales girls.

I guess it’s hard to have to deal with the fatties coming in with the intention of buying garments that were designed for Swedish runway models.

And it must be just awful to have to calculate the cost of the items that don’t round up to a neat $42 but how can you be in such a Carebear-friendly environment and still look that miserable?

I walk past the window and get excited. Not that any of the items were designed for my arse but seriously, for just that split second, it feels as though anything at all is possible.

I could buy that Jennifer-Beals-in-Flashdance-esque sweatshirt in Muppet skin pink and all will be right with the world.

American Ap-a-rell.

American Appa-ral?

On a tangent: where do you girls store your inner organs anyway? I’d love to know. Sure, you’re probably mere months from your sixteen candles, but I never looked like that at that age. When did girls start getting so whippet-like?

Do you just run on sheer youth?

Still, you know what, I won’t boycott the store. I’m not anti-skinny/beautiful/youthful and I’m not insecure about myself just because I am all curve.

We are all beautiful in our different ways and I can see a whole list of pros in being either way.

And they do have a scarf that has piano keys on it.

Sold to the lady at the front with hips!

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3 thoughts on “American Apparel – A Study in Life Without Organs

  1. jane doe

    Woody Allen sued American Apparel last year for $10 million, claiming the company had used unauthorized images on two billboards last year. According to the AP, American Apparel responded by claiming Allen had already ruined his image himself through his contentious sex life. More:

    Allen, who does not endorse products in the United States, said he had not authorized the displays, which the Los Angeles-based company said were up for only a week. Allen’s lawsuit said the billboard falsely implied that Allen sponsored, endorsed or was associated with American Apparel.

    Now the company plans to make Allen’s relationships to actress Mia Farrow and her adopted daughter Soon-Yi Previn the focus of a trial scheduled to begin in federal court in Manhattan on May 18, according to the company’s lawyer, Stuart Slotnick.

    “Woody Allen expects $10 million for use of his image on billboards that were up and down in less than one week. I think Woody Allen overestimates the value of his image,” Slotnick said. Slotnick said it was not a cheap shot to bring up Allen’s sex life in a lawsuit over the billboard and Internet ads.

    Not a cheap shot? The fact is that American Apparel put a billboard up without asking for permission. The company valued Allen’s image enough to want it on a billboard in the first place.

    Claiming Allen sullied his own reputation prior to the ads being put up, and therefore doesn’t deserve compensation, is the ultimate cheap shot. The tactic is probably to aggravate Allen into a settlement. The message I take away is that American Apparel plays dirty. Doesn’t make me want to buy their clothes, that’s for sure.

    Reply
  2. Pingback: Lightle Et Martin: A Blog « Groupie in Wondyland

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